Shipping Wars
by PorterHawk
Summary: Prepare for shipping like you’ve never seen it before, where all of your favourite ships literally sail... battleships. It is the first ever “Shipping Wars” and our pairings must battle for naval supremacy. Who will come out on top? And who will be blown out of the water? Only one can win!
1. Meet the Contestants

It was a beautiful day out on the open waters. The sun was shining, the gulls were cawing and the HMS Dido, otherwise known as the HMS Arkos, was sailing along at half speed. The sailors on board were currently trying to find a particular meet up location. All of the vertically challenged crew members were running the ship as usual, while the wheel house was a very different story.

"Wait, so the meet-up spot is six miles north, or six nautical miles north? What's the difference again?"

"Jaune. When was the last time you looked away from the map?" Pyrrha questioned.

"A while. Why- Oh." Jaune deflated finally looking out the window and seeing several more ships already congregated around each other. Pyrrha hummed cutely while the blonde let out a defeated sigh. "I'll… just let you navigate next time."

"I mean, it isn't that long after the meet up time. Even if we aren't the first ones here." Pyrrha commented.

"You are actually the last." Weiss huffed through the radio.

"Hey, our ship is literally run my a bunch of corgis! Be grateful we made it at all." Jaune protested gesturing out to the many dogs running about on deck, only for Weiss to scoff.

"All of our ships are run by corgis you buffoon-"

"How's it going Arkos?" Neptune interrupting before things could get more heated.

"Hello Iceberg." Pyrrha continued politely realizing the paring she was speaking with.

"Don't forget about White Rose!" Ruby chimed through the intercom.

"Black Sun is also present." Sun added.

"And so is Bumblebee!" A loud blaring shook the the surrounding ships. Jaune and Pyrrha glanced outside seeing Yang was blowing the horn of her USS Lexington aircraft carrier with Blake shaking her head close by. A much smaller ship blew its own horn, this one sporting two red dragons painted on both sides of the bow.

"Dragonslayer is here to party! Right Jaune?!" The Yang aboard the newer vessel shouted. She was dressed in a pirate costume instead of normal military garb, while her Jaune wore a less fancy cabin boy costume and looked rather uncomfortable.

"Ummmm… right." He mumbled.

"Perhaps we should get down to business." A Ren stated through the radio, though his ship was nowhere to be seen. "We were called her because of a battle?"

"That is correct." A familiar voice stated, only this time it was over loudspeaker instead of the radio. A shadow was cast over the war ships, everyone looking out to see the cause. A large Zeppelin was pulling into view, a P-class LZ 48 to be precise. It was adorned with the flags of many different nations across the globe, and Ozpin's face was projected on the side of the thing via a large screen.

"Welcome one and all to our first ever Shipping Wars." Ozpin announced with a small grin.

"Well, the first of this kind as far as we can tell." Glynda added.

"Wait, isn't this Ozglyn?" Jaune scratched his head confused.

"Since when can ships be zeppelins?" Pyrrha leaned over to Jaune and questioned.

"Excellent question Ms. Nikos." Ozpin said hearing her over the shared channel. "Or as you'll be known for this competition, Pyrrha A."

"Uhhh… what?" Jaune asked.

"In this particular battle, multiple pairings will be facing off against each other, with some characters being repeats from other ships. Such as Blake from Bumblebee being in one boat while Blake from Black Sun is in another." Glynda explained. "For this reason each one of you will be given a letter denoting to the pairing name you are a part of, for easier identification."

"To the original question though, nobody said a ship couldn't include 'airships.'"

"Good one Oz!" Yang B.shouted clearly amused.

"As we were saying." Glynda interrupted. "We have gathered you all here for the first ever Shipping Wars."

"Which is?" One of the Weisses asked.

"Basically, it's a battle to the death over ship supremacy. You will fight until the greatest ship is left standing, or at least the ones that the creators assigned the best boats to."

"And if we'd rather not?" Jaune, or rather Jaune A. questioned.

"We blow your ship sky high anyway." Ozpin hit a button opening a large hatch under his zeppelin. Inside was a massive missile with "Canon Bomb" written on the side in red paint. "The readers demand blood and blood they shall receive!"

"So either participate and possibly win, or don't do anything and get destroyed?" Ruby asked.

"That is correct. Also note that I have enough bombs up here to take out all of your boat."

"Not if we blow them out of the sky first." Jaune A. whispered referring to their own turrets.

"Try that and I'll make sure Arkos burns and never recovers. Am I clear?" Ozpin reprimanded.

"Y-Yes sir." Jaune A. gulped. This was really going to happen. The professor simply cleared his throat and continued.

"Now for the sake of everyone who doesn't know ships and battleships alike let's introduce our contestants."

He gestured over to the only Swedish ship in the line up. "Black Sun will be sailing a Visby-class corvette. It's a small yet fast and stealth ship, certainly one to watch your backs for." Sun S. and Blake S. stood on their deck awkwardly.

"Moving on to our American ships we have the original USS Lexington aircraft carrier captained by Bumblebee." Yang B. winked and grinned while Blake B. Just shook her head. "Big, armed and carrying seventy airplains. The models vary from the Grumman TBF Avenger and Grumman F4F Wildcat. It will be a force to be reckoned with."

He gestured to a smaller boat compared to some of the others. "Next Up we have the USS William D. Porter driven by the pairing known as… Sinking Ship." Neptune SS. and Sun SS. Stood on deck and fist bumped each other. Ozpin let out a sigh before continuing. "It's a Fletcher-class destroyer from WWII with an… unfortunate history. We'll see how long they last."

"Hey!" Sun SS. shouted. "That's-"

"Moving on to our only Canadian ship in the competition we have Iceberg aboard the Habbakuk aircraft carrier." Weiss I. and Neptune I. Stood upon the giant iceberg that made up the body of their ship. "Of course the Habbakuk was never actually produced, but it's literally a giant iceberg and there's a pairing of the same name. It was impossible to resist." Weiss I. huffed and went back into the wheelhouse dragging her Neptune close behind.

"For our only French ship in the battle we have Flower Power piloting the Surcouf submarine."

"Yeah! That's us!" Nora F. shouted through the radio.

"Hey, since when can submarines be ships?" Weiss I. protested.

"Uh, maybe the same time an iceberg could qualify as one?" Yang B. nudged her partner cheekily but the latter ignored her.

"Moving on we have a series of British ships. First up is the HMS Prince of Wales, a large battleship with heavy firepower. It is driven by Nora's Arc."

"Yeah we're awesome!" Nora N. cheered hugging Jaune N. In a death grip. He gasped and struggled until he was about to pass out, only for the bomber to drop him at the last second with an apologetic smile.

"We have the WWII Dido-class cruiser driven by Arkos, an agile ship specializing in anti-aircraft defenses." The two members of Arkos waved tensely, still not wanting anything to do with this.

"And the very modern, missile heavy HMS Dragon captained by Dragonslayer."

"Are you all ready to lose!" Yang D. smiled while Jaune D. just sighed in defeat.

"They sure seem eager." Pyrrha A. giggled.

"They're more confident than I am at least." Jaune A. sighed but stayed at attention. Pyrrha A. slipped her hand into his and smiled.

"No public displays of affection until after the battle!" Glynda ordered forcing the two to seperate. "We aren't done announcing the participants."

"Indeed." Ozpin agreed. "Our final two contestants include White Rose aboard the modern Kongō-class destroyer, and Girl Power rounding out the roster in the Yamato-class battleship. For those unaware the Yamato has an extremely thick hull, thicker then any other ship in this competition. It will be a hard take down for sure."

"Are you all ready to burn!" Nora G. shouted through the intercom.

"Best of luck everyone." Pyrrha G. laughed apologetically.

"White Rose forever!" Ruby W. cheered for her own ship loudly while Weiss W. growled in agitation.

"With that, all ships prepare for combat. The battle begins in ten." The screen on the zeppelin went black, quickly turning into a clock counting down the minutes.

"So this is actually happening. This incredibly stupid thing is really happening." Jaune A. rubbed his temples already feeling a migraine coming on. Pyrrha A. brought him into a quick hug.

"We'll get through this like everything else. I'm sure of it." The two pulled away, the red head giving a reassuring smile.

"I just really don't want our ship to sink." The blonde stated.

"We won't, I'm sure of it." He nodded at her words, looking over to all of the corgis on deck currently awaiting orders.

"Everyone get to your stations and prepare for battle! This is going to be a long fight!" The corgis barked and yipped with excitement, running around getting things ready as the other ships also prepared. All too quickly the clock struck zero and Ozpin's voice boomed through the loudspeaker once more.

"May the first ever Shipping Wars commence!"

**XxxxxxxxxxX**

**I promise to get back to my main fic soon, but I felt like taking a quick break and writing something goofy instead. Hopefully you all enjoy the ship wreck this will ultimately turn into.**

**There's a chance your favourite ship isn't included. Honestly there are a crap ton of them and I can only handle so many at once, so this is what we're working with.**

**Prepare for action in the next chapter!**

**Special thanks to Alpharius for teaching me everything about naval ships and strategies. They are the true expert here imao.**


	2. Go!

**Another chapter is done. The next chapter on my main story is going slow so you get this trash in the meantime.**

**I apologize for the following stupidity.**

**XxxxxxxxxX**

With Dragonslayer*

As soon as the starting horn blew Dragonslayer was the first ship to take action. Yang D. immediately set her sights on the Yamato, eager to take Girl Power out early.

"Uh, Yang?" Jaune D. asked carefully.

"Not now Jaune." Yang D. waved off her first mate. "I know exactly who I want to target. We're taking out the Yamato first!"

"But Yang, shouldn't we hold back and wait?" Jaune D. argued. "Were going up against a ship with very heavy armour, which we don't have. Shouldn't we-"

"Our missiles will take care of them in no time. We won't need armour for how fast they'll be sinking." The captain stated with a sly grin. "Our missiles are way better than whatever crap they can throw at us. There's no way we can lose."

"But what about-"

"I said we're going!" Yang D. cracked her knuckles like she was about to punch him off the ship. Jaune D. yelped and stood back against the wall.

"I-if you say so captain."

"I do." She laughed. "Dragonslayer is taking home the gold today, now just watch as Girl Power falls before our might!"

The HMS Dragon approached the Yamato from the side and started firing a barrage of missiles. Several of them collided with the older ship's armour, creating a good number of large dents along the starboard side but not quite breaching the thick shell. The larger ship fired off its secondary guns while it turned its cannons towards the aggressor.

"You're too slow for that!" Yang D. laughed. Only for her own ship to rock with a loud impact.

"Don't count them out yet!" The radio in the wheelhouse blared in a high pitched voice.

"Wait, is that-"

"You bet it is! White Rose is coming to get you!" Yang D. ran over to the port side seeing the Kongo-Class battlecruiser preparing another volley of missiles.

"Quick! Start moving at full speed and fire the missiles!" Yang D. ordered ignoring the smoke already rising from their deck. The ship started moving while firing off several missiles that collided with those of the Kongo. The enemy ship had more ammo, and enough managed to avoid the anti-missile defences to destroy the entire bow of the port side. The vessel quickly started taking on water and everything started to tilt sideways.

"Batten down the hatches! Somebody start pumping out the water! We-"

"It's over Yang." Jaune D. stated placing a hand on her shoulder. The two looked at each other, the knight giving a tired smile while the brawler bit her lip. "I know you don't like losing, but salt water is also bad for your hair. The knots will take weeks to get out." She snorted and pushed him back.

"You're so lame!" She teased.

"And I'm almost ankle deep in water." The two looked down seeing how much their side of the boat had sunk. With her temper under control the captain turned to the rest of her crew.

"Everyone abandon ship! We're finished here!" Yang D. ordered. The corgi crewmen all ran for the lifeboats while the two humans were sure to get everyone out from below deck and into crafts.

XxxxxxxxxX

With White Rose*

Aboard the Kongo Weiss W. and Ruby W. watched on as the enemy ship sank below the surface, the only remains of the HMS Dragon being several lifeboats with the canine crew members and Dragonslayer floating in the ocean.

"Yeah! We did it!" Ruby W. cheered.

"Girl Power to White Rose. Girl Power to white Rose." Nora's voice sounded through the radio. "Just wanted to say thank youuuuu~" She ended with a trill.

"Any time Girl Power! Over and out." Ruby W. hung up and smiled happily, though Weiss W. wasn't as pleased.

"Don't you think we should have helped Dragonslayer instead?" The heiress asked. "This is a competition after all. With a ship like the Yamato, Girl Power will be very hard to manage."

"I-I knew that already!" Ruby W. stuttered almost forgetting it was a free for all. "But there is still far more tough competition." She looked out at the large iceberg turned aircraft carrier.

"Your keeping them around until they can help defeat more difficult competition, then we'll proceed to destroy them once they are beat up and weak." Weiss W. pondered. "I didn't think you could be so devious Ruby. We shall strike once their back is turned."

"We will? I mean, of course we will!" Ruby W. declared with a fist in the air. "White Rose for life!"

XxxxxxxxxX

With Black Sun and Bumblebee*

While the two girls strategized the Visby-class corvette Black Sun was preparing for their first move. They were sneaking up on the USS Lexington while the members of Bumblebee remained distracted by the sinking of the HMS Dragon.

"Sun, I really think this is a bad idea." Blake S. moaned looking at the looming aircraft carrier before them.

"Relax." Sun S. waved her off. "We just need to land a bunch solid hits on something vital, then sail into hiding. Besides." He flicked the hat he wore denoting his rank. "I think I know what I'm talking about."

"Fine." Blake S. huffed at her captain. "We'll do it your way." She leaned back against a wall waiting for everything to go wrong, whipping out a copy of Ninjas of Love and ignoring her partner.

"Fire the main cannon!" Sun S. ordered through the intercom. The cannon swiveled and fired at Lexington's artillery, launching three missiles damaging part of the deck and taking out two turrets and six airplanes.

"Huh?!" Yang B. rushed over to the side where the hit took place, seeing the Visby speeding away. "Oh it is so on!" She turned to her first mate and smiled coyly. "Launch the aircraft Blake. We'll make Black Sun pay for that!"

"If you say so." Blake B. went to the intercom giving the order. The surface of the carrier erupted with life as the crew prepared several dozen planes for liftoff. Meanwhile the turrets on board began firing at the smaller Visby along with several torpedoes launched in their direction. The Swedish ship managed to avoid the torpedos, despite getting peppered by the secondary guns before exiting the larger ship's range.

"Shoot!" Yang B. growled at the retreating ship. Their own engines were too slow to catch up.

"The Avengers and Wildcats will be taking off in a few minutes." Blake B. added before her friend destroyed the wheelhouse in frustration.

"Good." Yang B. huffed. "In the meantime keep an eye on the Visby's location. That's the first one I want targeted."

"If you say so." Blake B. sighed and went back to work.

XxxxxxxxxX

With Iceberg*

Meanwhile the Habakkuk Aircraft carrier stayed put watching as planes started leaving the deck of the Lexington, Weiss I. Considering her next move.

"What are you thinking?" Neptune I. asked.

"We shall wait." The heiress stated. "Let the ships exhaust their ammunition taking down fighter planes. We will strike when they are weak."

Neptune I. nodded nervously, already feeling bad for the other ships.

XxxxxxxxxX

With Nora's Arc*

The HMS Prince of Wales and the USS William D. Porter were circling each other, firing off rounds but unable to damage each other substantially.

"This is getting us nowhere!" Nora N. growled. "We need to hit them harder!"

"We don't have the capacity to." Jaune N. answered apologetically. "You know we are better suited to taking on aircraft, and normally we'd have an escort of destroyers to deter threats like this. We're honestly in real trouble at this point."

"We haven't lost yet!" The bomber said with fresh determination. "Launch the Unrotated projectiles!" Jaune N. forwarded the order through the intercoms, the corgis on board running with the small rockets getting them ready to fire. Twenty of them were launched, with only six of them traveling far enough to hit their target. None of them did more than discolor the hull and rock the boat a bit.

"What?!" Nora N. exclaimed. "How did that NOT do anything!"

"Well, the UP's are meant for aircraft at a very short range and we're barely inside of it. Plus they aren't very accurate-"

"I'm gonna break their legs!" The bomber exclaimed.

"Please don't be like that." Jaune N. tried to calm her down. "So what if these other ships can outmatch us, or are newer or with more versatile weapons. I… still think we're pretty special."

""Awwwww… that's so sweat Jaune." The bomber said with her eyes watering. "But this isn't just about being the best ship."

"It's… not?" The blonde blinked.

"No, it's about SENDING ALL OF OUR ENEMIES SINKING BELOW THE WATER!!!"

"I see…" Jaune N. sighed. There was absolutely no stopping that girl when she got like this. Then again he did like that about her. "I'll try getting us a bit closer and we'll fire the UP's again."

"Thanks Jaune!" Nora N. Rushed back to the window while Jaune glanced back at the monitors, seeing something on his radar that wasn't there before.

"Uh… I think we have company." Jaune N. commented while staring at the screen. Nora rushed over to see for herself, noticing that her partner was right. She couldn't see anyone else nearby but Sinking Ship's boat, so that could only mean…

"Shoot!" Nora N. growled. They were in real trouble now.

XxxxxxxxxxxX

With Sinking Ship*

"Darn, we're evenly matched." Sun SS. commented. "Any ideas Neptune?"

"We're gonna drown!" The blue haired boy ran around panicking.

"Come on man, I thought you were over this?" The monkey Faunus exclaimed.

"We weren't taking damage then!!!" He grabbed the blonde's shoulders and shook him violently. "WE'RE DOOMED!!!"

"Pull yourself together!" The Sun SS slapped his partner back into a somewhat coherent state. "We need to think! What do we have that they don't?"

"Arf! Arf!" The two looked down to see one of the corgi crewmen had entered the wheelhouse, his little sailor hat crooked while his stubby tail wagged.

"What is it boy? You say we have a secret weapon?"

"Arf! Arf!"

"Of course. We DO have torpedos." Sun SS. clapped one fist into an open palm and smiled. "Good thinking boy! Get the torpedoes loaded and ready to fire."

"Arf! Arf!" The stout dog ran out of the room to fulfil his new orders.

"See Neptune, we got this in the bag. So will you calm down now?"

"O-okay." He nodded shakily. "I believe in us. We got this!"

"Alright!" Sun SS. set his eyes on the Prince of Wales and paged on the intercom. "Fire the torpedoes when ready!" He waited a tense seven seconds, seeing an underwater explosion displacing a large amount of water around the enemy ship. It tried to limp away but a second and third explosion completely crippled it, leaving Nora's Arc dead in the water.

"Nice! That was WAY quicker than I thought!" Sun SS. looked over when the radio came to life. It was from the torpedo room. "This is Captain Sun in the wheelhouse. What's up?"

"Arf! Arf!" The corgi answered.

"What do you mean the first torpedo is ready to fire? Didn't you just launch a few?"

"Arf! Arf!"

"But if we didn't launch those torpedoes, who did?"

"I win again!" A familiar voice rang through the radio.

"Wait, Nora?!" He turned around to his first mate wide eyed. "It's Flower Power!"

"That's right~" Nora F. sang. "We're taking you down next! So get your butts ready for a cold dip!"

"Nora. Stop intimidating the enemy." The Monkey faunus could practically hear the quite teen facepalming as he tried reeling his partner in.

"Awwwww. Fine!" The radio feed cut off leaving the two boys in a tense silence, only to see another explosion start sinking the Prince of Wales.

"WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" Neptune flailed.

"Wait! We have one trump card left." Sun SS. leaned over to the intercom. "Prepare to drop the depth charges! We're taking that submarine down." He turned back to his partner, The teen already wearing a poofy life jacket and water wings.

"SERIOUSLY?!" Neptune just smiled nervously and balled himself up in the corner. The Faunus just shook his head and turned back to the intercom. "Drop the charges!"

The large explosives were quickly dropped into the water, preceded by a loud bang that rocked the ship. They looked outside to see the submarine surfacing, facing its torpedos directly at them. Nora F. stuck her head out of the hatch and pointed directly at them.

"Annnnnnd BOOM!" She yelled right as several more torpedos launched their way. The two boys hugged each other tightly, as two more large explosions triggered the emergency alert system on board.

Their ship was sinking.

XxxxxxxxxX

With Flower Power*

Nora F. watched in delight as both enemy ships slowly sank below the surface, all the other people and canines on board evacuated into lifeboats. She giggled and shut the hatch behind her, walking back to the bridge where Ren F. was waiting.

"Prepare to go back under! We're taking out Iceberg next." Nora F. beamed.

"Don't you think we should slow down a bit? It's not a race." Her Ren added.

"Never! We need to take out the biggest ship out now, and the floating block of ice has to go! Take us under." Ren F. sighed and gave the order over the intercom. The submarine descended below the depths, though unknown to them a death charge had caught on the side of the ship, just waiting to wreak havoc.

XxxxxxxxxX

Back with Black Sun*

"The showdown between Black Sun and Bumblebee is official over. Our obligation is complete." Sun S. Breathed a long sigh of relief as he flopped down in his Captains chair. He pulled a banana out of his back pocket and began munching on it happily. "See Blake? I told you I had this all under control." He looked to the cat Faunus but she continued ignoring him, flipping to a new page in her book. He waved her off and went back to his banana. Unbenounced to him ten bombers had taken off of the Lexington. and circling around the ship. They aimed straight for the retreating Visby eager to give chase.

"Hey, do you hear that?" Sun S. asked peeking his ears at the faint sound of approaching engines.

"You mean the planes that have been showing up on our radar for the past ten seconds?" Blake V. Sighed pointing over at the screen. Sure enough several dots were getting dangerously close to their ship, followed by a loud boom that shook the boat. The emergency lights started flashing and Sun ran out to the upper deck. Several fighter planes were circling the Visby all firing down upon them, along with two TBF Avengers preparing to drop more of their payload. Smoke was billowing out from the port side of the ship and emergency sirens were sounding.

"Fire the bofor cannon!" Sun ordered. The anti-aircraft gun quickly swiveled and locked onto one of the Avengers, firing and blowing up the plane in a fiery explosion. Several parachutes deployed as the pilots on board bailed, all of which were little corgis panting happily in the breeze.

"All right!" Sun S. cheered before the second Avenger dropped more torpedos. They hit with several loud booms, the thin hull of the Visby standing no chance against the fire power. They were taking on water. Sun S. squealed and ran for a bucket hoping to bail out some of the water. His eyes widened though as several Wildcat planes came directly at him. He could see his entire life of horrible decisions flashing before his eyes in that single moment expecting to be blown off the boat, but the impact never came. Before the plane could fire it was blown out of the sky. Blinking he looked to the starboard side seeing the HMS Dido approaching, their guns taking out aircraft after aircraft. The Kongo was approaching too, this one trying to take down plane currently launching from Bumblebee's ship.

"W-were save?" He blonde blinked trying I process everything. His mouth busted out with a massive grin and he grabbed several more buckets. Running back the the wheel house Sun S. kicked the door in looking for his partner. "Blake! We're still in this! Take a bucket and lets drain the hull-" He stopped when she noticed the entire crew was heading for the lifeboats and Blake was shimmying into a life vest. She passed a bright orange one over to the monkey Faunus.

"It's over Sun. I just called Atkins and White Rose to help cover our evacuation of the ship." Blake stated pushing the vest into his hands.

"But Blake! We can take advantage of this! Our ship-"

"Is currently sinking." She said placing a finger on his lips to silence him. "But that doesn't mean we have to go down with it." Sun S. was saddened but understood what she meant. Reluctantly he nodded and made sure the rest of the crew made it out safely.

Black Sun was out of the contest.

XxxxxxxxxX

with Ozpin and Glynda aboard the Zeppelin*

"Well this is shaping up to be a quick contest." Glynda commented seeing Black Sun's ship sink below the water.

"Indeed." Ozpin stated while taking a sip of his coffee. "We've already lost four ships."

"How do you think the rest of the competition will go?" Glynda questioned. Oozing simply pushed up his glasses and smiled.

"Oh, I think it will end… explosively."


End file.
